The Simpsons: Steamed Hams

Key Words, Phrases, and Jokes Explained

  • "Egads!": An old-fashioned exclamation of surprise or dismay, used humorously to highlight Skinner's panic.

  • "Delightfully devilish, Seymour.": Chalmers admires Skinner's clever but deceptive plan to pass off fast food as his own cooking, setting up the humor of Skinner's absurd lies.

  • "Skinner with his crazy explanations, the superintendent's gonna need his medication.": A parody of sitcom theme songs, describing Skinner's tendency to make up elaborate stories and Chalmers's frustration with him.

  • "Isometric exercise": A type of strength training exercise. Skinner claims he's doing this to explain why he's at the window, adding to the absurdity.

  • "Steam from the steamed clams": Skinner lies about the smoke, claiming it's steam from the "steamed clams" to cover up his ruined roast and avoid suspicion.

  • "I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.": Skinner improvises a lie to explain why he's serving hamburgers instead of clams, creating the running gag of "steamed hams."

  • "It's a regional dialect.": Skinner continues to fabricate an explanation, claiming "steamed hams" is a local term, which leads to more comedic questioning.

  • "I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams.'": Chalmers points out the inconsistency in Skinner's lie, increasing the humor as Skinner scrambles to maintain his story.

  • "Aurora borealis": Skinner claims the northern lights are responsible for the fire in his kitchen, an absurd and obviously false explanation that Chalmers humorously questions.

  • "Localized entirely within your kitchen?": Chalmers's incredulous response highlights the absurdity of Skinner's lie, contributing to the scene's comedic tension.

  • "Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.": Chalmers acknowledges Skinner's eccentricity but gives him a backhanded compliment, wrapping up the scene with a final joke about the "steamed hams."

Full Transcript

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, I made it - despite your directions.

Skinner: Ah. Superintendent Chalmers. Welcome. I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

Chalmers: Yeah. Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Seymour.

(Singing) Chorus: Skinner with his crazy explanations, the superintendent's gonna need his medication. When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, there'll be trouble in town tonight.

Chalmers: Seymour!

Skinner: Superintendent, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me?

Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?

Skinner: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having.

Chalmers: Mmm. Steamed clams.

Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers.

Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.

Skinner: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers.

Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?

Skinner: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

Skinner: Uh, upstate New York.

Chalmers: Really. Well, I'm from Utica, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams."

Skinner: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression.

Chalmers: I see. You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.

Skinner: Oh, no. Patented Skinner burgers. Old family recipe.

Chalmers: For steamed hams.

Skinner: Yes.

Chalmers: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled.

Skinner: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- Excuse me for one second.

Chalmers: Of course.

Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

Chalmers: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there?

Skinner: Aurora borealis.

Chalmers: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localized entirely within your kitchen?

Skinner: Yes.

Chalmers: May I see it?

Skinner: No.

Agnes: Seymour! The house is on fire!

Skinner: No, Mother. It's just the northern lights.

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say you steam a good ham.