Friends: Ross Flirts With the Pizza Lady

Key Words, Phrases, and Jokes Explained

• "Somebody got a haircut." (0:02): Chandler notices Caitlin's new haircut, which is a typical icebreaker that can be seen as flirting.

• "I look like an eight-year-old boy." (0:06): Caitlin expresses her dissatisfaction with her haircut, feeling it makes her look childlike.

• "Gym class would have been a lot more interesting." (0:08): Chandler's joke suggests that if girls looked like boys in gym class, it would have been a different experience for him, implying he would have been more interested in gym class.

• "The duck pissed him off. He said that eggs came first." (0:18): A play on the classic "chicken or the egg" dilemma. Here, it's used humorously to explain why the chicken is upset with the duck.

• "I happen to like eight-year-old boys." (1:55): Ross's awkward attempt to compliment Caitlin's haircut backfires, making it sound like he likes children inappropriately. He quickly tries to correct himself.

• "I don't actually like eight-year-old boys." (2:20): Caitlin clarifies she understands Ross's awkward comment, maintaining the awkward humor.

• "Nine years later, you had me." (2:45): Rachel sarcastically refers to how long it took Ross's flirting to work on her, highlighting his poor flirting skills.

• "Do you... make the pizzas in one of those, uh... wood-burning ovens?" (3:21): Ross tries to sound interested and sophisticated, but the conversation about ovens comes off as awkward and forced.

• "You know that smell gas has?" (3:42): Ross shares a fact about gas odor being added for safety, trying to sound interesting but failing to be charming.

• "Oh, the humanity." (4:15): A dramatic expression of frustration, often used humorously when someone makes a situation overly serious or when something minor goes wrong.

Full Transcript

Caitlin: Hi, Chandler.

Chandler: Hey, Caitlin.

Caitlin: Somebody got a haircut.

Chandler: Ugh. I hate it. I look like an eight-year-old boy.

Caitlin: Yeah, well, if that was true, gym class would have been a lot more interesting. (chuckles) It's, uh, $27 even.

Chandler: Oh, okay.

(duck quacking)

Caitlin: Hey, where's your chicken?

Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off. He said that eggs came first.

Caitlin: Thanks. I'll see you later.

Chandler: Okay, bye.

[Caitlin leaves. Joey enters.]

Joey: What the hell was that?

Chandler: What?

Joey: The flirting. Aren't you supposed to be going out with—uh, I don't know—my sister?

Chandler: I was not flirting.

Joey: It was totally flirting. "Somebody got a haircut." (talking gibberish)

Chandler: Okay, first of all, the impression? Uncanny. And second, that was not flirting. That was just casual conversation between two people; that is all.

Joey: Yeah, right. You want to see flirting? I'll show you flirting.

Chandler: I'm good. I'm good.

Joey: Well, I was watching her the other day at the pizza place, and she was just so sexy and funny and has the cutest little...

Chandler: Okay, you know what? We don't need her measurements. Okay, pepperoni, pepperoni, pepperoni. Ross, I know she's pretty and you love her, but is she stupid? She forgot my vegetarian.

Ross: This is perfect. She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I will turn on the charm-o'-Ross.

Joey: Oh, I am so glad you don't eat meat. See? Vegetarianism benefits everyone.

[Knock at door.]

Caitlin: Pizza delivery!

Chandler: I'll get it!

Ross: I will get that!

[Ross opens the door.]

Ross: Hi. Hi.

Caitlin: One vegetarian pizza. It's $12.50.

Ross: Oh. Uh, by the way, if it makes you feel any better, I happen to like eight-year-old boys.

Caitlin: What?

Ross (stuttering): Oh, I mean... The, uh... your hair... before... your hair... you said you thought that your hair looked like an eight-year-old boy's and I'm, I'm just saying, I like it—the-the hair.

Caitlin: Oh. Thanks.

Ross: You understand I don't actually like eight-year-old boys.

Caitlin: You know, all I'm looking for is the money.

Ross: Here you go. Now, stop bringing us pizzas, you.

Caitlin: I'm going to try.

[Caitlin leaves.]

Chandler: Ross was never very good at the flirting thing.

Ross: Wha-wha...?

Chandler: What are you talking about? It worked with you.

Monica: Oh, you know what? No, you're right. We met, you flirted, and then bam! Nine years later, you had me.

Ross: All right, all right. You know what I'm going to do? I am going to order another pizza and when Caitlin gets here, I will show you how well I flirt. In fact, I will... I will get her phone number—and not the one on the menu.

Monica: (giggling) Hey! Oh, we... we can't keep eating like this.

[Knock at door.]

Caitlin: It's, uh... $12.50.

Ross: Okay. Um... so... do you... make the pizzas in one of those, uh... wood-burning ovens?

Caitlin: No. Actually, um... I think they're gas.

Ross: Gas? Wow! Intense. If this is the way all the Gellers flirt, we don't have a problem.

Ross: Hey, uh... you know that smell gas has?

Caitlin: Yeah.

Ross: They put that in.

Caitlin: What?

Ross: The gas is odorless, but they add the smell so you know when there's a leak.

Caitlin: Well, okay.

Ross: A lot of other gas smells.

Chandler: Oh, the humanity.